Muta's Diet
by Jaded Delirium
Summary: Muta goes on a diet to prove himself to a female cat he's crushing on. He even goes far enough to ask Haru for advice but can he become the cat he wants to be?


Disclaimer: Oo I only own Kerri and the plot

* * *

Ah, a hungry cat. Normally one would see a pitiful sight; the poor kitten meowing in hunger and pawing lightly at one's leg, with not even the strength to lift a delicate paw to scratch. Not this cat! Muta, the fattest cat on the block, definitely couldn't be stopped today. Bank notes in hand, he ran off to the bakery to get his daily angel food cake. If the baker had bargains on today, the cake would even come with a free jello. And we know how much Muta likes jello! Skidding to a stop in front of the cat bakery, he strolled in, ringing the bell. The baker smiled at him over the counter.

"Hello Muta! Up and early today for your angel food cake right?" Muta gave the baker a cocky grin.

"Sir, you know me far too well." The baker grinned.

"Lucky for you, today your cake comes with a free box of jello!" Muta practically drooled. Normally, he'd only get a slice of jello, and a whole box was like heaven!

"Here you go!" Muta handed over the bank notes and strolled off with his cake and jello box. Just as he was about to barge out the door, a pretty white cat with pink ears came in. For the absolute first time in his entire life, Muta was speechless.

"Hello!" The white cat smiled at him. Her smile was the sun emerging from the clouds and lighting up the sky. The baker glanced at the cat, then his face broke into a huge smile the size of a watermelon slice.

"Kerri!" he cried.

"Uncle Jeffrey!" Kerri cried back. They hugged while Muta gawped at them.

"You finally come for a visit, girl?" 'Uncle Jeffrey' asked her.

"Mom wanted me to buy some angel food cake from you," Kerri replied. The baker looked over the counter at Muta.

"Oh, you're still here?" Muta slowly nodded.

"This is my niece, Kerri," the baker introduced her.

"Kerri, this is Muta. He's a regular customer here." Kerri grinned at her Uncle.

"Hi!" she said to Muta.

"Um…Hello." Muta was shocked. God, he'd never ever, acted so shy before! Where had the confident not-afraid-of-anything-I-can-take-whatever-you-throw-at-me fat cat!

"Uh…See you around…" Muta left as fast as his fat little hind legs could take him. Uncle Jeffrey and Kerri watched him leave. Kerri giggled.

"He's cute," she said to her Uncle.

"Muta is a good cat, but I've never seen him act so shy before… I think someone has a crush on you, Kerri!" Uncle Jeffrey teased his niece.

"That was so funny I forgot to laugh," Kerri smirked.

"Well thanks for the cake, Uncle Jeffrey!"

"Anytime, my dear! Tell your mother hello for me, will you?" Uncle Jeffrey called to Kerri.

"I will!" Kerri wandered away. Back at the Cat Bureau, Muta was pacing anxiously.

"How could you let that girl Kerri stump you like that!" he kept on telling himself.

"You're Muta! You're the fat cat on the block! No one messes with you! Argh!" Muta plopped down on to the sofa.

"The newspaper hasn't even come yet…" Muta muttered.

"Who's 'that girl Kerri' who has you so stumped, my friend?" Muta looked up.

"Oh, it's you." Baron stepped down from the window.

"So? What troubles you?" Baron sat down next to Muta. Muta snarled.

"This cat… she's the baker's niece…"

"And I assume you have a small crush on her?"

"Grr…"

"My mistake. So you do not have any feelings whatsoever for Kerri, but she still stumps you?"

"I hate you so much right now, Baron."

"You have a rather large temper, my friend."

"Argh!" It went on like that for the rest of the night. Baron finally got Muta to fess up, however. They still couldn't do anything about Muta's crush on Kerri, but they talked about it. A few days later, Muta went to the bakery again. After he bought his cake, he noticed a white cat sitting on a bench next to the bakery. Dang, it was that _Kerri_ again!

'You know you like her' said a devil on his left shoulder.

'Show your feelings to her!' an angel on his right encouraged.

'What do you know?' asked the devil to the angel.

'Everything in the matter of love!' retorted the angel.

'Ha!' yelled the devil.

'And you care… why?' replied the angel, smirking.

'Swear at the cat!' screamed the devil.

'No! Talk to her! I'm sure she wants to chat with you!' urged the angel.

'Grr… Shut up!' Muta thought. The angel and the devil glared at him.

'Oh, go poof yourselves away." Muta hurled at them.

'Humph!' snorted the devil.

'Humph!' muttered the angel. They both poofed away. Muta walked up to Kerri.

"Er… hi…" he murmured. Kerri looked up and smiled.

"Hi!" she replied. "You're Muta, right? You're cute! Could lose a pound or two, but you're all right." Muta turned very red.

"Yeah…"

"My uncle makes really tasty angel food cake, doesn't he?" Kerri asked.

"I haven't tasted anything better than his food," Muta admitted.

"I think so too!"

"His jello is just as delicious too…" Muta added.

"Oh yeah! I _love_ lime jello! What's your favourite?"

"I like lime too," Muta told her.

"Cool!" Kerri stood up.

"I have to go now," she said.

"Oh… me too…" Muta replied.

"Bye! See you soon!" Kerri skipped away. Muta stared after her for a moment, then walked back to the Bureau. He pored over what Kerri told him. So she thought he could lose a few pounds, eh? Humph! Now he was sounding like those dumb shoulder people. She'd also thought he was _cute_. He blushed just thinking about it. He and Kerri were very similar. They both like lime jello and angel food cake. The only difference was that she was slim, while he was fat. She talked a lot, he was shy. Now Muta found himself almost hating what he'd liked. Kerri thought he was fat. Maybe she didn't like his fatness. He definitely had to talk to Baron. The Baron was waiting for him back home. By the fact that Muta was sweating like mad showed that he'd seen Kerri again. Baron gave Muta a quizzical look.

"Well?"

"What do you mean by well?" Muta snapped back. Baron smirked.

"I suppose you met Miss Kerri again?" Muta glared at him.

"How did you know?" Muta asked him.

"My friend, your face is unnaturally red, you are sweating all over, and your angel food cake is slightly squashed. Muta, you normally take extreme care of your angel food cake so I suppose meeting Kerri made you very hasty." Muta gave him the death glare.

"You _do_ like her!"

"Ah, shut up!" The evening passed with Baron trying to pry info out of Muta, but Muta was firm as a rock. Eventually, Baron gave up and went to think about Haru. The next day, Muta ran over to the bakery again. With luck, Kerri would be there. There she was! Sitting on the bench again. When she heard running footsteps, she looked up and smiled.

"Hi again fatso!"

"FATSO!" Kerri laughed.

"Relax, it was just a joke!" Muta let the hot air evaporate.

"Don't do that again."

"Ok!" Silence for a minute.

"You know what?"

"What?"

"You run really fast!"

"I do?"

"Yeah! I can hear you far away and then BOOM! You're here in ten seconds flat. I'd say you were going about twenty or something."

"Something what?"

"Kilometers or miles."

"Oh."

"Do you like fireworks?" Kerri asked him.

"Only watched them once. They're ok."

"Can I watch them with you on Wednesday? The people fire them in the sky at the harbor but you can see best them at the Bureau." Kerri asked. Muta turned tomato.

"Is something wrong?"

"…uh…no. Sure. How do you know I live at the Bureau?" Kerri shrugged.

"I asked my uncle." She said.

"Oh." Kerri skipped off again.

"Bye!" Muta waved sheepishly. Then he took off for the Bureau. Bursting through the doors, he screeched his best friend's name.

"BARON!" The Baron jolted right off the sofa. The shock was very surprising, since Baron usually kept his cool at all times, even when Haru told him she liked him.

"My, my, aren't we energetic today?" Baron dusted himself off. Muta panted for five minutes straight.

"Kerriwantmegowatchfireworkwithheratbureauwhatdoidoisaidyes."

"I'm sorry?"

"KERRI WANTS ME TO GO WATCH THE FIREWORKS WITH HER AT THE BUREAU AND I SAID YES! WHAT DO I DO?" For the second time that day, the Baron jumped to high heaven.

"My friend, you really need to attempt preventing yourself from raising your voice." Baron scolded Muta.

"So?"

"So what?"

"So what do I do on Wednesday?"

"Be yourself, Muta. She likes you the way you are."

"How do you know?"

"_She_ asked _you_ didn't she?"

"Yeah…"

"So continue on what you are doing!"

"I'm so fat!"

"I'm surprised you just found that out…"

"Grr…"

"I know what you need!" The Baron exclaimed. Muta perked up.

"Exercise!" Muta's face fell.

"WHAT!"

"I'll ask Haru if she knows any exercises and you wait here, ok?" Muta slumped on the couch. Fifteen minutes later, Haru and Baron returned. Haru clapped her hands.

"You want to lose a few pounds, right?"

"Uh-huh." Muta mumbled.

"First we're going to do… butt exercises. Ok… squeeze and lift and squeeze and lift and pump pump pump!" Muta squeezed, lifted, and pumped.

"Good! Now you have to lift weights." Haru took out two large rocks.

"These are big enough to be used as weights, but not big enough to kill you. Ok, Muta. Heave ho! Heave ho! Heave ho!" Muta heaved and he hoed and he heaved and he hoed.

"That's great! Muta… running works really well so run 5 laps around the Refuge!" Muta ran and ran and ran.

"Ok! End of workout. You did really well, Muta!" Muta did all those exercises until Wednesday. He was so tired that when Kerri showed up he was sprawled on the ground.

"Hi Muta! What's the matter?" Muta groaned.

"God… I squeezed and lifted and pumped and heaved and hoed and ran but I didn't lose weight! Is there something wrong with me?"

"No! Anyway, you're supposed to do those exercises way longer if you want anything to happen. And I like you the way you are." Kerri smiled at him.

"You do?"

"Yeah!"

" I thought you thought I was fat!"

"I was just kidding!" Muta groaned. Kerri grinned. But they could still watched the fireworks from there.

**The End**

**

* * *

**

Please review!


End file.
